If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you can probably recall my last post in which I shared about the good weekend I had.  (If you’re a new reader, welcome!)  This weekend was even better.  It was my turn to be on a retreat.  And this retreat was the Women’s CEW (Christian Experience Weekend).  To try to even begin to describe it seems impossible.  In my attempts to sum it up, I will say that God is so good and so powerful.  Of course we know that God is good and powerful.  We hear this all the time.  But this weekend, this wasn’t just something I knew in my mind.  It was something I experienced on a very real and deep level.

On the weekend, someone made a statement that sums up the experience quite well:  “The Holy Spirit is working overtime this weekend.”  The theme of the retreat was “Hearts on Fire” and there could not have been a more perfect theme.  The Holy Spirit showed up and set hearts on fire.  There were countless moments throughout the retreat in which the Holy Spirit made His presence known.  In fact, it wasn’t merely a few moments, but rather, the whole experience that was filled with His presence.  For me, one part that stands out is being prayed over and given a blessing before giving my talk, being prayed for during the talk, and then once again being prayed for after the talk as well.  It was an experience unlike anything else and there was no doubt in my mind that the Holy Spirit is real and was truly with us.  Having people lay their hands over me and pray took away every feeling of unease and it was as if I was lifted up and put right into the hands of God.

The whole weekend was so good and to try to convey the experience through words doesn’t seem to do it justice.  One retreat candidate from my table shared that, on Friday, she was not excited to come and did not really want to be there.  By Sunday, she didn’t want to leave.  I think this describes the Holy Spirit well.  Having an encounter like this is an experience you don’t want to leave.  You want to live in this sort of space forever.  It was filled with love, joy, peace, and goodness, all fruits of the Holy Spirit.  As I soak in all the graces from the weekend, the one thought taking over my mind is that I wish every single person, Catholic or not, could have this experience and know the power and realness of the Holy Spirit.  I think a lot of people, myself included, have often disregarded the Holy Spirit due to not being familiar with Him or being confused or unsure by Him.  I believe that if every Catholic could experience and be hit with the power and working of the Holy Spirit, the world would change.  It would be set on fire with hearts that are burning intensely with the love of God.

I think it is safe to say that anyone who has had a profound experience with the Holy Spirit wants others to have the same thing.  We all have friends, family members, co-workers, and other people in our lives who don’t have a fire burning in their hearts.  Maybe the flame went out, maybe it is there but very dim, or maybe it was never there to begin with.  We all want the people in our lives to have their hearts blazing. 

While we cannot make anyone experience the Holy Spirit, there are ways we can help.  We can invite people to retreats and events.  We can share books and other resources to help them learn more about how the Holy Spirit works.  Most importantly, we can share our witness of how the Holy Spirit has worked in our lives and how we have encountered Him.  Doing these things can help people recognize the small, ordinary moments that the Holy Spirit is present throughout their days because while the Holy Spirit can work in profound and powerful ways, He is also in the regular, everyday moments of our lives.  And sometimes, it takes huge and profound encounters with Him to recognize this.  

As I continue to reflect on the CEW retreat I was on this weekend, some lyrics from the song “Shine Jesus Shine” come to mind.  “As we gaze on your kingly brightness, so our faces display your likeness.  Ever changing from glory to glory, mirrored here may our lives tell your story…. Blaze, Spirit, Blaze.  Set our hearts on fire.”  It is easy to see when people’s hearts are on fire and when they are filled with the Holy Spirit because their lives are a reflection of Him.

​My prayer is that everyone would encounter the Holy Spirit in this way and know of His power, recognizing the work that He is doing in their lives constantly.  I pray that each and every one of us would be filled with the Holy Spirit and have our hearts set on fire even more than they already are, so much so that it would overflow into the lives of those around us, touching their lives and setting the world on fire.

This past weekend was one of the best in awhile.  I didn’t have any big plans and didn’t go anywhere far.  But what I did do was something more valuable and better than anything else I can think of.  With the retreat going on at my parish, I was able to spend a good amount of time sitting before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.  To be able to drive just three minutes late at night or early in the morning to spend time in Eucharistic adoration not one, not two, but three days in a row was truly a gift that I didn’t know how much I needed.  Spending time in the small, cozy and warm makeshift chapel, lit by a few lamps brought so much peace to me.  I could have stayed there all weekend.  We all need these these kinds of experiences to help remind us of God’s love for us and to be filled by that love.

This weekend, I read a book called Breath of God, Living a Life Led by the Holy Spirit by Father Dave Pivonka.  One of the chapters discussed the concept of expanding our hearts.  He explained how we need to continually ask God to fill our hearts because they may leak over time due to things like lack of attention and sin and they can slowly deflate.  “God wants to give more of his spirit to us, to expand our souls, to bless us with more of his grace, his gifts, and more of his very life.  ”As I sat in adoration this weekend, I asked the Holy Spirit to fill my heart up so that I could love more and have a deeper faith.  And I am not lying when I say that I truly felt my heart being filled and expanded.  Sitting before Jesus, I experienced love that is more powerful than anything in the world and an increased desire to deepen my relationship with Him.

To the outside world, this all probably sounds crazy.  But when you experience those moments of intense peace and love, there is no denying the reality of our faith and the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.  It is these moments that expand our hearts and our capacity to love.  When we allow ourselves to be filled with this love and this peace and all of the fruits of the Spirit, they will overflow into every aspect of our lives and permeate our whole being.

So how do we fill and expand our hearts?  The simplest way is to sit before God in prayer and ask Him.  As Father Dave explains in the book, “God wants us to ask for more of His presence.”  We need to continually pray and not be afraid to ask.  If we ask God with a real desire and sincere hearts, He will provide.  Whether it’s in big, overwhelming moments or the small, ordinary moments of our days, God will show us His love and fill us.    
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My prayer is that you would be able to sit before Jesus and experience your heart being expanded by the love and peace that only He can bring.  

I recently came across a video clip of Princess Diana and St. Mother Teresa together.  I was struck by the beauty in this video.  While Princess Diana served others and did a lot of charity work, she was also seen as beautiful by the world’s standards because of her physical appearance.  St. Mother Teresa, aged and wrinkled, small and hunched over, while not beautiful by the world’s standards, radiated beauty.  There is something about her smile that drew people towards her during her life (and still draws people towards her when we think about who some of our favorite saints are).  This is because of her holiness and her deep love for Jesus.  The closer we grow to God, the more our lives reflect a certain beauty that can help draw others to the beauty of God and a relationship with Him.

When people looked into the eyes of St. Mother Teresa, they saw Jesus.  She allowed Jesus into the deepest parts of her heart and invited Him to work in her life.  She prayed deeply and chose to follow His will each day.  She depended and trusted fully in God and knew she was in need of His mercy.  She recognized the dignity of every single person she encountered and served with great love and compassion.  Do we do these things?  This should be the goal for all of us- that people would look at us and see Jesus, that people might be drawn to Him because of the way we live our lives.

We are drawn to people who radiate Christ in their lives.  When we see people striving for holiness, we want to experience what they have.  Think about people in your life-  family, friends, co-workers, or even strangers.  When we see their joy, humility, and love, it draws us in because it is Jesus in them who is the cause of these fruits.
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We can see great beauty in the words St. Mother Teresa spoke and wrote and in her actions.  This is because all she did was for God and she allowed her life to be a reflection of Him.  God not only created beautiful things, but He is beauty Himself.  Beauty reveals God, which in turn reveals truth, love, joy, and all that is good.  May we all live our lives in a way that reflects God, so that others may come to know Him and find the beauty they are seeking.

Before the opening ceremony of the 2022 Olympics, some political commentators were discussing everything going on in China including, but not limited to, the abuse, human rights violations, and torment kids experience at boarding schools.  If anything, it was a reminder of how good we have it here in the United States.  Sure, our county has its problems and there are areas that could use improvement, but we are truly blessed.  This is especially true when it comes to our faith.  Catholics in various other countries around the world are literally risking their lives to attend mass and practice their faith while we have all the freedom to do so, yet so many often choose not to.

What are the excuses?  “It’s boring or too long.  I don’t get anything out of it.  My kid has a (insert sport) game/practice.  I can’t understand the priest.  We’re going on vacation.  I can pray at home.  I just don’t feel like going.”  This non-exhaustive list covers just a few of the many excuses we often hear when it comes to mass attendance.  And to be honest, it is quite embarrassing.  People in certain parts of the world are putting God above everything else, risking their lives and here we have people whining and complaining that sitting in church for one hour a week is just too long.

I think what it really comes down to is our understanding of the mass and how we prioritize everything in our lives.  Something that came up in conversation at my Bible study last week is how it seems like when our parents and grandparents were growing up, mass was a priority.  Churches were full and going to mass was an expected part of the weekend.  While I wasn’t alive then, it just seems like faith had a much larger role in people’s lives.  What changed?  

​If people knew that they could encounter Jesus Christ Himself in the Eucharist, maybe more Catholics would attend mass.  If people understood the need to worship God in praise and thanksgiving, maybe more Catholics would attend mass.  If people recognized the graces and fruits that come from mass, maybe more Catholics would attend mass.  People in certain countries realize and see the value of the mass so much that they do whatever they can to get there; whether that means traveling far distances or risking the possibility of violence and extreme persecution.

We can give thanks to God that we do not have to put our lives in danger to attend mass at our parishes.  This is a real blessing that we must not take for granted.  While we cannot force anyone to see the value of the Mass or make anyone change their beliefs, we can be witnesses and share about why the Mass is important to us and how it impacts our daily lives.  Let us pray that all Catholics would experience deeper faith and be filled with a greater desire to go to mass.

Do you ever fall asleep on your couch or in your recliner and wake up in the middle of the night, or the early hours of the morning?  For me, it is a regular occurrence.  When this happens to me, upon randomly waking, it is always perfectly silent.  There is no noise, all is still, and it is as if the world is on pause.  It is in these moments that I realize our great need for this kind of silence.  In our world that is loud, busy, and full of distractions, it seems impossible to cultivate this level of stillness and quiet at any point through our days.  However, it must become a priority, especially if we want to hear God more clearly.

While our world craves silence, they are also afraid of it.  To many people, silence can feel empty, pointless, and unproductive.  But silence is a powerful and life-giving place, where God comes into our minds and hearts.  It is in silence that we are able to become more aware of God’s presence.  It is in the silence that we can truly enter into prayer.

In the stillness and silence, we allow ourselves to listen, wait, and be receptive.  When we take time to rest in it, we are allowing ourselves to receive God’s deep love for us and the immense peace that He provides.  There is a lot of power in just being, rather than doing.

It is so easy for us to fill any potential moments of silence with noise and distraction.  Often times, this may be because it is uncomfortable and we find the silence too overwhelming.  We turn on the TV, open up social media, or find things to do that help us avoid the stillness.  When we encounter opportunities for silence, we must work to fully embrace them.  This is definitely not easy.  It requires commitment and determination.  It is something we need to practice continually throughout our lives.
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When we take time for quiet, we are filling a deep void in our lives- the void that we so often try to fill with everything else in the world.  In order to truly satisfy our deepest longing, we must fill ourselves with God.  This is done best in the quiet and still moments of our days.  This week, as you go throughout your days, challenge yourself to intentionally seek out silence.  Whether it is when you wake up, on your lunch break, or right when you get home from work, start with five minutes.  It will have a profound impact on your relationship with God.

Last Wednesday, after teaching my eighth grade faith formation class, I went home and cried.  On top of the facts that the class is one of the most disrespectful classes I’ve had in the past five years and that there are only two or three students, out of the 16, whose families attend mass, a group of them let me know that attending weekly classes was not the slightest bit important and that they didn’t understand why they had to go “just so they could get confirmed.”  We were having a discussion and they clearly and directly stated that “they never learn anything, it is a waste of time, and there should be other options.”  For some reason, hearing these things really hurt.  

As I was thinking about that evening and why those words seemed to sting more than they should have, I thought maybe it was because I try hard each week to engage them in the content through discussions and activities rather than spending 75 minutes just reading from a textbook.  I try to teach them about topics that they maybe are not really familiar with.  I introduce a new saint each week to help them learn about some of the many incredible examples we have of those who loved and served God with everything.  And ultimately, I try to do all I can to help the faith come alive and for them to come to know that experiencing the infinite love of Jesus through the Catholic Church is exciting and life-changing.  Different thoughts ran through my head.  I wondered if what I was doing was pointless and asked myself if I should even bother. 

A few days later, I came across a quote from St. Teresa of Calcutta in which she says, “Don’t give in to discouragement.  If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride because it shows you trust in your own powers.  Never bother about people’s opinions.  Be obedient to truth.  For with humble obedience, you will never be disturbed.”  As usual, God came in and revealed this profound truth, gently revealing my weaknesses.  As I reflected, I was reminded that I need to rely on God and his abilities, rather than my own.  I realized that through this difficult and challenging class, God has been providing me with opportunities for humility.  I need to let Him do the work and humbly submit to Him, so as not to be discouraged.  If I cling to the truth and trust more in the power of God, I will be able to continue on when it seems impossible.

How many times do we stand in the way of what God wants to do in and through us?  How many times have we blocked Him out, putting up walls around our hearts and thinking we can do something by our own strength and abilities?  How many times do we think we can do anything in our lives without Him?  Relying on ourselves will always leave us discouraged.  If we are not inviting God to fully take charge of all that we do, it might be because we do not fully trust Him.
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Lord, please empty me of myself so that You are all that is left.  Flood my soul with your love and mercy so that my life would bear the fruits that come from serving You.  Help me get out of the way and know that without You, I can do nothing.  Give me the grace to cooperate with Your promptings and to serve You with complete obedience and confidence in Your ability.  Amen.

Our culture puts a big emphasis on growth and progress.  We are urged to focus on the growth and progress in countless different aspects of our lives.  Whether it’s our fitness, careers, or various life skills, we are continually urged to improve and achieve progress that can be measured and is visible to others.  It should be no different in our spiritual lives.  This should be the one area that takes precedence over all others when it comes to focusing on change and growth.  Ultimately, it should be the area of our lives in which the most growth and transformation can be seen, by ourselves and others, and of course, by God.

Something I enjoy doing is looking back at old journals, notes, posts, and anything else that helps indicate the faith I had in high school, college, and really any time before the present moment.  Being able to look back and reflect on the disposition of my heart and level of my faith at different times and see how I have grown in my love for God and in the depth of my faith is good and worthwhile.  In my reflecting and looking back, I have been able to recognize how God has worked in my life, even in the times I may not have noticed Him.

Growth in our spiritual lives is absolutely vital.  If we’re not moving forward, it means we’re either standing still or moving backwards.  We must not be satisfied with this.  Each day, our focus should be on drawing nearer to God.  Strengthening our faith and cultivating a deeper prayer life is where we should work to see the most progress.  There is no end to growing closer to God on this side of heaven.  We will never be close enough until we see Him face-to face.
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Growing in our spiritual lives does not happen overnight.  It is a long, challenging, and sometimes arduous process.  There are many obstacles that get in our way.  We can be dragged down by the culture.  Whether it’s the media, various temptations, the influence of other people, or simply our own weaknesses and doubts, it can often feel like an uphill battle.  The path we walk to grow closer to God will be challenging and not always smooth.  But it will be beautiful and fruitful.

When I think of my faith journey, I can recognize that I have been transformed and have seen a lot of growth and progress over the years.  However, I know that I have a long way to go.  I have a lot more to learn and much more growth to experience.  I am not even close to where I need to be, but with the help of God, I am taking small steps.  

Each day, we must open our hearts to God and invite the Holy Spirit to work in our lives.  It is through our ‘yes’ to God and our willingness to be changed and transformed that we will see and experience a deeper and stronger faith.  Servant of God Chiara Corbella Petrillo’s personal motto and a commonly repeated phrase was “piccoli passi possibili,” which means “small possible steps.”  That is all it really takes.  A willingness to let God work in our hearts and lives and a desire to make progress in our faith day by day.  May we all take small, possible steps walking closer to God always.

I’m currently reading a book called, Sr. Clare Crockett: Alone with Christ Alone.  To sum it up in a few words, the story is of a young sister who experiences a deep transformation in her life and comes to solely desire the love of Christ.  Looking through the profound statements and passages that have stood out to me so far, there is a line I highlighted that says, “‘We have to be saints!  It’s all or nothing!  We can’t remain in mediocrity.  We have to fight with all our strength against the obstacles that impede us from growing.’”  What’s stopping us from holiness and working towards sainthood?  At my Bible study last week, someone brought up a podcast episode from Father Mike Schmitz in which he discusses that we are given everything we need to become saints and if we don’t, it’s because we don’t want to.  Those words cut like a knife but it’s only because they are true.

Do you ever have moments of intense spiritual dryness?  These may be times where you’re unmotivated, apathetic, and experiencing difficulty in praying and in your faith in general.  It can feel like you’re just going through the motions or like prioritizing your relationship with Jesus is the last thing you want to do.  It’s easy for me to tell myself that Christ is my number one focus in my life.  Oftentimes, that is a lie and Jesus  being above all is a good and nice thought, but it’s not my reality.  It seems like too much effort and then I realize I often choose other things first.  It is in these times that we must cling to our faith and continue to draw nearer to God through prayer, scripture, and the sacraments.  We are given all the graces we need to get to heaven.  Do we really want it?  Real faith is continuing to show up, pray, and love Christ even when our spiritual lives seem stagnant.

No matter how strong our faith is, we will all experience these times; times when we feel like it’s us alone against the whole world, times when we feel like Satan is working harder, times when we feel like something is wrong with us.  It’s not a matter of whether or not we will experience these moments in our lives, but it is how we respond to them that matters. 

The path of holiness and the road to sainthood never stops.  It is a daily journey we must walk, even in those times where we may be experiencing dryness or struggle in the spiritual life .  God has given us other people to help us along the way- a community of people to pray for us and who we can draw inspiration from.  We can turn to these family members, friends, and other parishioners when our faith lives are weak and mediocre and when we need accountability and to be challenged.  We must spend extra time in prayer and immerse ourselves more fully into scripture.  We need to go to the sacraments and spend time before Jesus in adoration.
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It’s all or nothing.  If we desire Christ, we will fight against the obstacles that come our way.  We will keep walking the path to holiness and continue choosing to grow through the dryness, difficulty, and mediocrity.  Are you all in?

Opportunities for us to talk about and share our faith, even if only in small ways, present themselves on a regular basis and more often than we think.  Are we open and ready for these moments?  Are we living in ways in which our faith is reflected in our daily living, rather than keeping our faith in a box separate from everything else?

Last Thursday at work, some co-workers and I were on our post-lunch walk.  As we approached the parking lot to go back inside, one of them caught up to me, and asked, “Katie, do you go to mass every weekend?”  This question was followed by questions about where I go, what time I go, and if I go with anyone.  She then proceeded to tell me that she wanted to start going to mass again after a long time, but didn’t want to go alone.  I expressed that I would be more than happy to go with her any time.  While her question took me by surprise, it made me excited.  The night before, I had been telling my brother about how I knew a few of my co-workers had either grown up Catholic and left the faith or who were still Catholic but did not really practice.  We had discussed how I could evangelize in small ways and share my faith in ways that were not forceful, but authentic and loving.  I had prayed for God to provide opportunities and asked the Holy Spirit to help me see and be open to these opportunities.  I figured that there was no way any conversation at work would naturally turn towards faith.  But God sure provided.

Earlier that day, my co-worker was looking at the Holiday schedule for 2022.  She commented, “I feel like we should have Good Friday off.”  I simply responded, “yeah, me too.”  She then asked if I was Catholic and said she was too, which is something that had briefly come up before.  That was the end of the conversation.  I didn’t think anything of it until later that day on our walk.  It is these simple conversations that God wants to use to inspire and open doors.
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How often do we leave our faith at the door when we get to work, school, or anywhere else that is not the physical church building?  Maybe we find ourselves compartmentalizing our lives, separating our faith from everything else.  We should have a desire to integrate God into every aspect of our lives, allowing Him to be reflected in all we say and do.  Of course, this is easier said than done.  But when we open ourselves up to be a vessel of God’s love and truth, He can draw others closer to Him and give them a desire to know Him more deeply.  Our words and actions can be an invitation to others.

Whatever you are doing today, pay attention to those invitations from the Holy Spirit to enter into a conversation about faith, even if it is very brief or seems insignificant.  Whether the conversation is about your weekend plans to go to mass, the latest spiritual book you are reading, or a prayer intention, God may be stirring something up in someone’s heart and it just might lead to a small spark that ignites a fire.

I recently read an article that discussed a study about religious affiliation in the United States.  The number of people who are identifying as religiously unaffiliated is growing rapidly.  Referred to as religious “nones,” this group includes those who describe themselves as atheists, agnostics, or “nothing.”  This study, released earlier this month, revealed that around three in ten Americans fall into the religious “nones” category.  Reading this reminded me of one of my favorite quotes, from St. John Paul II, which says, “It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you.”  If we’re not seeking Jesus, we will be left disappointed and unsatisfied with the things of the world that we are chasing.

As a Catholic, my main goal each day is to seek Jesus in all things so that I can grow closer to Him.  Of course, I often fail at prioritizing this goal in my life, but it still is my number one goal.  What do people without faith seek?  What are their goals in life?  If the only goals I was striving to reach were ones regarding power, money, status and other worldly successes and pleasures, I feel as if I would often find myself hungry and yearning for more, for something deeper.  What or who are people without faith living for?  I ask this not in an attacking way but out of genuine curiosity.

Not having any sort of faith would mean not having any real reasons to live in a certain way and doing whatever we want.  We can fill our lives with everything we could possibly dream of and all the things we would ever want.  But what happens when that is not enough?  What happens when we are let down, hurt, disappointed, or experiencing changes in our lives?  We will find ourselves feeling empty and searching, with no one to turn to and nowhere to go.
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When we seek Jesus instead, we will find that we have everything.  A life with Christ does not mean that we will not be disappointed, hurt, or let down at times.  However, the difference is that He will never be the one to cause these feelings.  When we seek Jesus, He reveals to us that He is complete love, joy, goodness, and everything in between.  He knows our hearts and is the only one that can fill the empty spaces.  While more and more people are trying to find their happiness in nothing, may we all live in a way that shows that it can only be found in Jesus, who is everything.