In today’s (Monday 4/7) Gospel, Jesus says, “‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life’” (John 8:12). Reading this passage and this line specifically had me reflecting on the suffering that we all face and the darkness that so often accompanies our suffering. We know that darkness exists and that we must walk through it, but if we follow Jesus, He always lights the way and walks with us through that suffering and darkness. The way we look at suffering as Christians is different from the world. We know that we all have crosses to carry throughout our lives and we cannot escape from them. As we experience suffering, do we let Christ in, allowing His light to guide us?
One period of time in my life that came with great suffering was the roughly 12 year period that my dad was sick. From around the time I was in 6th grade and he started changing, indicating that something wasn’t right, to his death almost three and a half years ago, there was a lot of darkness over those years. With his eventual diagnosis of frontotemporal dementia, there were a lot of questions and a lot of unknowns of what the disease would bring, not only to my dad, but also to my family. There were a lot of highs and a lot of lows. The kind of dementia he had involved changes in his personality, behavior, language, and movements. It wasn’t simply a matter of him being forgetful or not remembering things. Thankfully, unlike many other forms of the disease, he never, at any moment, forgot who we were or failed to recognize people. In fact, he remembered all the details about so many things and could tell you things like exactly how many months and days until our next birthdays and how old we were turning. However, the form he did have absolutely changed who he was and changed our lives. Oftentimes, it seemed as if some people didn’t understand or didn’t care, because it was hard to describe the scope of it in a few words. This felt so lonely and isolating at times and one of the hardest parts was watching my mom deal with it all, just wanting someone to be there for her and understand, to help ease the pain. There were a lot of tears and this cross seemed far too heavy at times. Through the struggle though, there came many great blessings and gifts.
Through the whole ordeal, I am confident that the faith of each of my siblings and I grew stronger. We couldn’t lean on the world in those times and that was a realization that we needed to lean on Jesus and His Church. We developed an even closer sibling bond over this time, as we all knew exactly what was going on and could talk and share stories. There were many times of laughter as we talked about the crazy things that happened on a given day or throughout the week. The Lord used this to help me to learn how to love more purely and sacrificially, to love deeply because that’s what we are called to, to love and serve my dad even when he couldn’t provide and love in the way that I expected. I also learned how to find joy, even in the midst of suffering, which is something the world does not understand. Over the years, I came to recognize how Christ’s light was shining through the situation, guiding us through this darkness. It came in the form of the prayers and support of others, both those that were known and unknown to me, and the love of family, both immediate and extended. It came in the realization of just how many people actually did care. I eventually came to recognize the value of this suffering. It is this cross that was transformative for me and my life and faith.
Suffering is an invitation to go deeper- to enter into a deeper relationship with Jesus and unite our sufferings to His on the cross, to deepen our faith, our trust, and our prayer. The Lord will always bring good out of our suffering, even if we don’t always see it or recognize it in the moment. When we are in the midst of our suffering, it can feel like hell, but Jesus will draw us closer to Him through it when we lean on Him.
There is so much pain and suffering in the world. What suffering have you recently endured or are currently enduring? What crosses are you carrying that just seem too heavy right now? The world will tell you that your suffering is meaningless and that it should be avoided at all costs. And if you listen to the world and allow yourself to be convinced that there is no point and everything is hopeless, the struggles that you may be going through will stay dark. You will be blinded and dragged down to the lowest pit possible, where there is only darkness. But if you invite Jesus into your suffering and choose to let Him in, He will help you carry your cross, making it possible to keep moving forward. And He will shine His light upon you and your life, helping you to walk through whatever you are facing.
If you are suffering right now or struggling with anything, invite Jesus into it. Ask Him to help you carry your cross. Acknowledge the fact that you cannot carry it alone. He wants to help you. Will you let your cross transform you? May we all follow Jesus, allowing His light to dispel the darkness and lead us onward as we carry our crosses.
Faith and The Good Stuff 